3 Months Already!!!

Before I share mr. lean mean growing machines 3 month pictures, I thought Id share where we were 3 months ago first. Im not sharing this picture because I look amazing- on the contrary, I don't think I've ever looked so bad in my life. Or felt so bad. I mean, I was feeling really, really bad. This is me when I finally got to hold my sweet little baby 12 hours almost to the minute after he was born. The first time he was allowed in my arms without any help. I cant even begin to describe what waiting that long and being in so much pain while waiting is like, but it does make holding them so much better. The night before Declan was born things were so bad it wasn't even funny. I was back in labor and delivery not in labor listening to other moms labor. When they were done it was quiet back in L&D except for the alarms. About every hour I would set off the blood pressure alarm quite a few times. I had to stay on my left side the entire time to try and keep my BP under 100 (for the bottom number) and being in that position while hooked up to probably 5 or 6 cords was no picnic. On top of all that, I blew out my IV and then it took a few nurses two tries each to finally get it back in... I don't think I ever "slept" so poorly in my life. At some point during all of this the doctor came in and talked to us about having my tubes tied. They explained that my chances of having preeclampsia a third time were pretty high and considering all my issues it just was not a good idea for us to try for a fifth baby. Matt and I had already felt like Declan would be our last and spent some time in prayer before making the decision to go ahead with the procedure. We really felt a peace that having babies naturally was not the only way God could grow our family. Long before we had kids we were told we couldn't and so even back then I think the seed for adoption was planted. And so if God wills us to have more and make it possible for us to find another baby, then we will joyfully be sharing that news someday. But for now, Declan is our sweet much awaited for baby. I was literally crying tears of joy while I had him in my arms. I was so happy, but also so sad because holding him for even those few minutes wore me out and caused intense pain. It was so hard to have to call my husband over and tell him I was no longer strong enough to hold my baby. But.... Im happy to say that these days our little "peanut" only wants mommy :) At three months he is quite the long string bean! He is def. going to be tall like his daddy and big sister! He is trying so very hard to get the hang of sucking his thumb-- it is so adorable to see him try! He also rolled over for the first time the other day which he absolutely did NOT like and I don't think he'll be trying that again for some time as he finds tummy time torturous! He loves to be swaddled but as he is growing quite long its getting a little tricky to make that possible! He also loves being talked to and sung too and carried and he is quite the coo-er. So cute to hear him add new sounds and get a little louder. Im sure it will be only a matter of time before his giggles mesh with his older siblings and fill our home with laughter. And so tonight as I glance over and see him sleeping on his daddys tummy just like he was three months ago I am so thankful we have come so far...... and that I can walk over and get some snuggles myself!