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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Friends with Kids

When we first got married it began to hitme that my single friends and I had lost some of our common ground and we began making couple friends. Then when we had kids, I think that even more ground was lost and now I think all of my friends have kids.

Can you still remain friends with people without kids or a husband? I am sure you can, it's just..... different. And don't get me wrong because different isn't always bad.

But while they go to starbucks or late night shows... I clean up little tushies and clean up tons of spilled milk. While they go on dates, I spend nights snuggled at home with my husband of 8 years. I get sticky little kisses they might be getting first kisses. I travel with a crowd-- they travel the world.

I don't want to say one is better, but if I am going to share an experience, I can't imagine 4 people who'd I'd want to share it with. And when I talk to a friend about late night feedings, husbands socks, or what children's consignment sale was the best, I kind of want friends who know exactly what I mean. They have been there too.

You can have single friends and I have a few, but I just think my friendships with people I have known for way less time and yet because they too have stayed up all night with a sick child, well, they have come to mean far more to me and become the stronger relationships in my life.

So I guess what I am saying is I like my friends and I like them even more when they have cleaned vomit out of the car because they have some cute little kids of their own!


Laura said...

Oh then you must REALLY like me ;-)
I completely GET what you are saying.

Becky said...

Laura, I REALLy do LOVE you!! You are one of my most favorite people ever!!

Kayiko said...

I am not sure you will even see this comment, as it's being posted on something you wrote a year ago; but as someone who is on the other side of this point, I wanted to add my two cents anyway. As someone who is a single friend, it isn't easy on us easier. We understand that clearly we can't relate to the things married couples go through with kids. However, this doesn't keep us from still caring. Sometimes it's hard when as a single person, we haven't found that 'someone' for us yet. When all our friends are getting married and having kids, the more we start to feel left out. I do understand that it's easier to talk about the troubles of your day with someone who can relate to you more. But the single friend still wants to be there for you too. Don't forget, you were also once single yourself. It may just take them longer to find their other half and make a family. But they will always want to be a part of yours.

Sometimes when our lives change and become different from our close friends, we have to put in a little more effort to make sure those friendships don't fade away. As a single friend, i totally understand the changes my married friends and family go through. I get that late night movie times, or coffee runs just aren't in their lives anymore. Priorities change clearly. and Single friends understand that.