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Monday, June 24, 2013

That Mom....

This is my oldest son about 7 years ago. Isn't he a cutie pie? Those big baby blue eyes and platinum blonde hair-- just adorable! You can see how happy he is and how he just had a bath-- know what you can't tell? You can't tell that he was born via C-section or that I had an epidural or that it was days before I could hold him on my own. You also can't tell that he was our only baby exclusively fed formula. NOW can you tell that we loved him less? That I was less of a mom because of these things? No-- of course not. But I can imagine the wheels in that one moms mind turning. Turning on her judgement mode and hear her thinking, "That poor baby-- his mom did everything-- everything-- wrong!" You see that mom had hours of natural labor no pain meds-- not even Tylenol-- began koala care immediately after birth and began nursing her little one right away. She probably had her beautiful baby at a birthing center and was home in hours snuggling her little one. And I applaud her for all that-- she did a fabulous job. Just because its not my birth story doesn't mean I cant celebrate for her. But I am tired of those certain moms judging moms who don't go that route-- who can't go that route. And that mom, she probably would have been me had I not been knocked off my high horse by a high risk pregnancy that left me redefining what a good mom is and does. I had always assumed I'd have a natural birth and breast feed and when I didn't and couldn't, it took me a while to adjust and feel okay about it mostly because no one I knew could relate and so they judged what they didn't know. But I finally did realize something one day at a park watching lots of kids play-- I couldn't tell which child had been born which way or was fed bottle or breast-- there was no way to distinguish without asking. I am so thankful for modern medicine and so thankful that Mr. blue eyes is mine and that he came into this world through a hole cut in mommys tummy and that because we bottle fed, my husband could share in the joy of baby feedings as well. And I am so thankful God used the whole thing to teach me compassion-- because you never know what another mom went through to bring her baby into the world, but trust me, its a labor of love no matter the circumstances!

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